i'm at a loss

i feel like the majority of my conversations with my best friends are because i'm complaining about stupid shit, and for that, i feel like a complete jackass. in all honesty, it's because i need to vent about dumb stuff. plus, i bet it reminds them of how awesome we all were "back in the day" where we barely had any shit go down between us. weird logic, i know, but it works out in my head anyway.

in other news (in all actuality, similar news), i've conducted a simple, dumb experiment where i sat in my friend's room with my head in my hand to see if my friends would ask if i were okay. no one said anything. okay, it may have seemed like i was asleep, but at the same time, i would've asked someone if they were okay regardless if they were asleep or not. also, they continued to have a conversation across the room, so they continued to loudly talk across the room regardless of my state of consciousness. at this point, i'm rambling like hell, but at the same time, i'm not because it helps getting all these thoughts down. this may be my pms talking, but it honestly isn't. if i've been feeling this way for weeks, something is obviously wrong. i'm still debating approaching them about this subject. the right way to alleviate my situation is to tell them my issues with them, but i can't bring myself to do it since i've never been in that sort of position with friends or any kind.

so here i'll sit, waiting for the decision to be made for me.